70 Comments
User's avatar
Nicholas Hughes's avatar

Terry Christian

Narinder Kaur

Gary "what's that shiny stuff under your nose" Stevenson

Angela "have you seen me mate, Kimberleh?" Rayner

Gary Neville

Gary Lineker

Frankie Boyle

Alison D's avatar

Terry Christian would be fantastic. How about a twofer with the Gallagher Brothers?

Niall Devitt's avatar

Soooo you’ve got a new video then?

Chris's avatar

When I read the initial intro for WCZ I instantly thought of Darren Mc Garvey; housing scheme buckfast swally merchant to Beeb question time with Fiona "c3po" Bruce! to use a Scots expression he's a "shilpit wee nyaff".

As if Scotland needed anymore demoralising media characters, they (Glasgow university I believe) groomed this cheerleader of all things "trauma" and "poverty", a kind of Glaswegian Roland Rat, who spits out therapy speak and pseudo intellectual twaddle for thick middle class twonks. He's also published some shite books.

Gareth Roberts's avatar

He sounds interesting … my sensors are twitching …

Bec's avatar

Terry Christian. His X output is magnificently vile. I cannot WAIT.

Ben Bullock's avatar

Terry Christian is the answer to the question of what ever happened to those teenagers you used to know who thought they knew everything.

Niall Devitt's avatar

Sounds grand! I F loathe Billy Elliott by the way!

Dear Granpops,

If I promise to wash your car and collect your shopping for a week, please, please do Billy F Bragg…..

Please

Niall aged 50 odd

Ps rather like Ray Allen and Lord Charles, along with Twitch and Crackers, how about posh PS c…impersonating the WC? Olivia……!!!

Patrick Young's avatar

This concept spans a range of annoying gobshitery encompassing working class twerps and upwardly mobile bollinger bolsheviks, e.g., Liam Gallagher, Gary Neville. NB please refer to my previous post. Not just scousers. Mancs, as well. Also, where is that muppet Gary Lineker from?

Gareth Roberts's avatar

Stay tuned …

Martin's avatar

This will be an interesting one. I can't think of too many working class zeroes. Kathy Burke seems to fit, but I can't think of that many working class actors or pop stars (Michael Caine might be the last working class British 'star' - and he - as none of the kids say anymore - is based).

Yvonne Doolan's avatar

Lorraine Kelly, working class with luxury beliefs and ever so ‘kind’

Paul Nichols's avatar

Sounds good. You know you can't do this objectively without a fairly substantial BAME component, mind?

Niall Devitt's avatar

Please don’t forget that Billy Elliott is “Little Big Man” for Hampstead?- more than a touch of John Ford”s The Searchers”, as a common northern WC kid is saved from a fate that is

worse than hell by being rescued and then heading down south led by posh artistic andArts Council funded folk from north London to do a spot of ballet.

Yeah, why get a job with Hunslet Engineering when you get to express yourself and discover your true quote “ fluid” sexuality aged 12? Hand out the BAFTAs!

Will he ever-be able to speak normal, not go back on proceeded food such as Sugar Puffs and Toast Toppers or has he been changed beyond recognition by trauma growing up common like in Barnsley?

Quote - A TRIUMPH!”

Gareth Roberts's avatar

Ha, magnificent!

Niall Devitt's avatar

No, you are..you write like a dream.

Will Stacey's avatar

Toast Toppers brought back memories - I'm going to hunt some down if they still make it.

Niall Devitt's avatar

Good luck Ryder Haggard on your quest and God speed!

I liked em!

Will Stacey's avatar

Ravaged by disease and attacked on all fronts by natives, my party and I finally gazed upon the magnificent carving of King Solomon hewn into the rock face some 300 feet beneath the entrance to the mining complex that one thought would have been beyond the capabilities of mere Man.

At the base of the statue, a rough altar was piled high with the object of our six month long quest.

I hold myself, Sir to be a man of moderate temperament but, in that moment, I was consumed with a passion hitherto unknown to me as I contemplated the fabled tins of which I had heard so much but had increasingly felt, as our mission continued, were the stuff of legend.

Ham & Cheese, Mushroom & Bacon, Chicken & Mushroom - all were laid out before us and we approached the treasure that we had pursued for so long with a confused mood combining an almost religious reverence with a sexual like lust knowing that vast fortunes awaited us on our return home.

As we drew nearer, Carruthers (it is always Carruthers) - the most observant of our party - gripped my arm and said, "Quartermain, I fear our mission has been in vain" and with an unsteady hand pointed in the direction of a bronze plaque set into the ground before us.

Blackened though it was through years of exposure to the noxious subterranean air, its message was still as clear as the day it was etched, "Display Items Only - Discontinued 2015".

I am not ashamed to say, Sir, that we wept like babies and the wailing of Chinese women rejected as concubines by the Emperor were as nothing to the sounds of anguish that came from deep within our bodies that night.

Will Stacey's avatar

Thank you - I have to say I was moderately pleased with it.

Niall Devitt's avatar

UTTERLY MAGNIFICENT!

Will, you are a natural. How about Biggles in pursuit of 'Lucky Bags'? or authentic original length 'Curly Wurlies?

Will Stacey's avatar

I say steady on, Algy old boy let's deal with the beastly Hun first and then take a run at the good Captain.

Niall Devitt's avatar

Your right Captain, so its save the nation and Empire first in our Sopwith Camel, then a proper beano?

Chocs away in other words?

Patrick Young's avatar

Alexie Sayle, Stephen Graham and John Bishop. Scouse luvvies are the worst kind of pretentious working class zeroes. The only one that I can think of who wasn't (bless him) was Freddie Starr...

Sandy Stone's avatar

Oh, Alexei Sayle. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please,..

Alison D's avatar

Ricky Tomlinson?

Sandy Stone's avatar

Oh, good shout. The bourgeois left's pet ex-NF-rent-a-thug-salt-of-the-earth-professional-Scouser.

Ben Bullock's avatar

Alexei Sayle was a fashion leader in that wearing ridiculously tight-fitting suits came into fashion about twenty years after he started the trend. In the 1980s the entire world, even people who didn't speak English, seemed to know the phrase "Hello John got a new motor". At the time I thought Sayle was making fun of communists and Trotskyists, but it turned out he was one. Once a ridiculer of pretentions, now to be found parroting all the odd things that these people all feel obliged to say.

Kate Foreman's avatar

Ooh, I’m so looking forward to this! I very much related to your degree cringe experience: I did A level Sociology (in the basis that it was easy to pass) and our tutor was an absolute middle classhole who was desperate to impart his love of Marx to a very upper middle class group of Surrey students. It was hilarious.

Paul B's avatar

Last week we had someone calling for Sleaford Mods to be included as part of the series (when in fact they are the epitome of middle classholes, as probably, are the whoppers in Kneecap). Obviously, most of the Labour cabinet do qualify for this series (‘the most working class cabinet in history’) and no doubt a myriad of gormless celebs do too.

But the unsung working classhole is to be found everywhere in real life. There are tons of them. In the institutions, in the workplaces, on social media, on demos for this year’s high status cause. Allied with their downwardly mobile middle class comrades they form the praetorian guard for their more gilded superiors.

Their role cannot be underestimated. They enforce and legitimise luxury beliefs. They police fellow proles guilty of wrongspeak. They narrate the middle class mind virus to further spread it.

Their aspiration to become one of the symbolic cultural avatars gives their ‘be kind, unless you don’t think like us in which case we’ll do you in’ performance a genuinely sinister edge.

I look forward to the series. But let’s not forget the 25 souls featured - who’ve renounced their class and its common sense instincts - are the tip of a problematic iceberg.

Hellwood's avatar

Jack Monroe.

Sandy Stone's avatar

Despite what she wants everyone to believe, she is not working class. She has fleeced hundreds of people by cosplaying "poor", and while I think she's a loathsome character, I would forego reading a hatchet job on her if it meant denying her the oxygen of publicity.

Hellwood's avatar

Oh I know! There are pages dedicated to her grift. I did like her initiative but then, in spite of selling tons of books, she continued to stay poor/traumatised by former poverty/poor in spirit and when that wasn't believable any longer, the autism and ADHD kicked off. She could have been a convincing anti-poverty campaigner had she stuck to the truth that being poor is often temporary.

Niall Devitt's avatar

Martin Lewis!

The Chiken Licken of TV fame for whom the sky is always about to fall in on all of us in the debris that is post Adam Smith Institute “we thought it would be kinda neat idea” essential services National Grid etc supply in Britain, he is a byproduct of this race down, not a saviour. Parasitic beasty.

There be terror about as he warns we cease to exist and it’s Mars Attacks time, unless we do NOW three always F simple things he gets paid to promote.

If he came up to you on a pop up stand in the local shopping mall, you’d walk past pretending to stare into mid- space. Two ticks beyond flogging time shares.

Belacqua's avatar

i didn't think it could get better then it did. thanks

Basil Fawlty's avatar

I hope Terry Christian is on the list. Gobby, know it all. Thinks being educated and working class automatically makes you a demi-god and you can look down at your nose at ‘Dave down the pub!’

David's avatar

Oh yes. Bumped into him in his GP surgery once, such a small man.